When developers name something, they’re usually pretty careful with how things are phrased. Gone are the days when games carried meaningless notations, like notoriously titled Rap Jam: Volume One. Now, when developers name something in a series style, they usually mean it. My case in point: Playboy: the Mansion was probably planned to have a load of sequels following it since it’s major inspiration, the Sims is so wildly popular and successful, and also so heavily sequelized. The source material is also of the finest pedegree. What better life to simulate then that of Hugh Hefner’s? He has the hottest women in the world hanging from his arms, and leigons of adoring fans buying his merchandise.
"If being a playboy is supposed to be fun, the irony here is it’s quite dull."
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Unfortunately, this title will probably not be seeing a sequel any time soon, and these adoring fans will probably ignore this game in large numbers. While Hef’s life might seem amazing and ripe for simulation, something is clearly lost in the translation; in this game it is not fun to be Hef. If being a playboy is supposed to be fun, the irony here is it’s quite dull. There’s a few reasons as to why this game pales in comparison to it’s inspiration, and even the spin-off of that series, the Urbz that are plainly obvious. No amount of digital boobs or times you’ve seen your "sim" fornicate, can cover up the fact that this game is not very good, and that it falters with some of the areas that the Sims did with flawless execution.
One of the biggest problems here is that it’s one glitchy game. There’s more bugs in the Mansion than termites in Uncle O’Leary’s old lake side cabin. Within an hour of play I was able to make the walls disappear with no way to bring them back, and go inside a conversation menu with no way out other than rebooting the game. It’s pretty frustrating when you’re trying to hook Hef up with some cuddle-time with a side of digital booty, and you need to reboot your PS2 (which also effectively erases all of your progress if you aren’t a frequent saver). Hef and his friends have a nasty habit of vaporizing in to thin air (which is funny when they’re having sex), as well as walking into each other forming some weird blob of polygons, and they get stuck in and behind furniture and walls as well. Things like that, and much more, happen a lot in this game, and there’s no excuse for any of it.
Also, Playboy is ironically one plain-Jane looking game. It’s funny when you invite people to a party, and you realize that the intellectual is the same person as the dancer you invited, just with glasses and a different outfit on. Also, the character models are animated with no real soul, and the environments have no polish as well. Considering sex (and seeing it) was such a big draw of this game, it’s also strange that the women (and Hef) don’t get naked when having sex. Women pleasure your shorts when performing what this game calls oral sex, and they’re quite vocal about it as well. While it’s funny to see the characters dry hump like crazy on screen, it really just looks like a models crotch is mad at Hef’s crotch, and it’s not really sex at all in the end. This is one area the game really needed to excel in to do well, and it’s a shame that it came off as badly as it has.
"There’s more bugs in the Mansion than termites in Uncle O’Leary’s old lake side cabin."
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Ugly graphics and all of glitches in the world can be overlooked however, if a game plays well, but unfortunately Playboy doesn’t, and it’s mostly because of the glitches. Aside from the glitches however, menus for conversation are for the most part a pain to navigate, and the actual management menus are a pain in the ass as well. On top of being glitchy, they’re just not that easy to read, and they’re pretty ugly as well. Considering things in the mansion (people included) disappear, you usually lose the will to pimp your mansion with expensive goods and hot babes since it looks like you don’t have them anyways.
But since pimping your mansion, your publishing company, and in turn your life is the meat of this game, there are a number of things one needs to accomplish to reach this goal. When starting a new game, Hef isn’t a major force in the adult entertainment industry yet, and it’s up to you to chart his rise to stardom, riches, and fame. It’s obviously Hef’s job to create the best Men’s entertainment magazine on the market, so it’s up to you, the player to help him out. Getting content for the magazine is the top priority, and what better way is there to get content other than throwing a party?
When throwing a party it’s important to invite all the right people. The best writers, the best photographers, and the hottest women. You can pick through a list, or you can have the game do it for you. After "conversing" with the talent (conversing consists of multiple friendly handshakes and other non-sensicle babbling through "simish" type language), you’re given the option to ask them to do work for the magazine, be it write articles, give interviews, take pictures, or pose. If the mood is right, they’ll accept and do some work for you. The public is represented through a bunch of little meters, so it’s up to you to read those and guess what the public would most like to see content wise, which will deterimine how well your issue does. If they want more sports, you would be better off putting more athletic articles in, but if they want health, you better put health instead. The better your issue sells, the more money you have, and the better your repuation gets.
"Playboy is ironically one plain-Jane looking game."
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Taking the photographs is up to the player, but even if you do your best to point the lens away from the woman on the screen, it won’t matter, because the game doesn’t care what your pictures look like. You’ll also be able to schmoose these ladies and start relationships, but there’s no real sense to doing any of that since you don’t really get anything for it. Completing goals gets you points, which in turn unlock actual pictorals from Playboy’s actual magazine, so if you do work hard enough, you will see some actual nudity, but it’s a hard road to travel considering how hard they made this game to play.
Given the major problems this game has with it’s programing, and seeing as how it’s not much to look at, it’s definitely not a game I would recommend for fans of the magazine; you guys clearly deserve better than this slapdash exercise in programing. I especially would not recommend this game to anyone but the most fanatical of sim game players, because this game has far too many problems if all you’re interested in is seeing a few flesh colored polygons. Playboy: the Mansion isn’t a terrible game, but it’s not far from it.
